Aging Well

Pepper Potts, in Iron Man: No! It was not just a dance. You don’t understand because you’re you. And… everybody knows exactly who you are and how you are with girls… and all of that, which is… completely fine-

Jilly: Yeesh. That line has not aged well.

Me: Gwyneth Paltrow hasn’t aged well.

The 5 very feminist women in the room: WHOA

All of them: YOU DID NOT JUST

Me: STAHP

Me: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT

Me: Motherfucker is a snake oil salesman. Of course she’s aged well physically. She’s rich. Rich people age better than the rest of us. Fuck her and fuck all of her Goop*.

All of them: We know what you meant

All of them: We just wanted to give you shit

Me: YOU ALL ARE JERKS

*For those who don’t know, Gwyneth Paltrow sells pseudoscientific gels and these weird jade egg things you’re supposed to shove up your vagina to increase your fertility or whatever. I will not link to her site because fuck that noise.