Patron: What if I told you that the ancient Egyptians had digital information? What would be your reaction?
Me: I would need you to rigorously define that.
Patron: Information stored numerically.
Me: A number of ancient civilizations had that.
Patron: And! Digital graphics.
Me: Define that.
Patron: It works just like our computers now, where you could punch in numbers and get pictures.
Me: I would believe that if you provided evidence.
Patron: I have it!
Me:
Patron:
Me:
Patron:
Me: …and it is?
Patron: Do you have an outlet?
Me: No.
Patron, carrying a huge cardboard box: See, I don’t have a laptop so I gotta carry this around. I took it to Penn but their professor was out that day.
Me: Oh, I’ll bet.
Patron: But I have proof. Proof!!
Me: Wonderful. Have a good evening.
5 minutes later
Patron: The guy in the Music department said I could set up there. Do you have 5 minutes? I’ll blow your mind!
Me: No.
Patron: It’s mind-blowing! I’ll be back for you!
Patron leaves.
Coworker: What was that about?
Me: They think they have proof of ancient computers. They’re a conspiracy theorist.
Coworker: Do you want to go look? I can watch the desk.
Me: Please, please don’t make me do that.
5 minutes later
Patron: I’m ready!
Coworker, who is not my supervisor: As supervisor of this department I authorize you leave of the desk to go investigate this person’s claims.
Me: I hate you.
So I go over and speak with Patron who shows me a series of images of Egyptian pyramids with random numbers associated with them, turned into a graph, and then flipped around 18 different ways to make a pyramid shape. Aliens! Conspiracy! It’s impossible! Computers! Graphics! Codes! The numbers 12 and 17 are super important! Look at the context!
Coworker and I are gonna have words later.
You should try to convince him that you were convinced and that you’ll be talking about it all the time from now on, make your super really regret it. 😛
Y’know, I don’t expect to be seeing this Patron again. But if I do…