Me, texting Lexi: Hey, so did you put weird cult stuff on your face today?
Lexi: Sure did
Me: :/
Lexi: Why the :/ face?
Me: Weird cult ritual is weird.
Lexi: Putting ashes on your forehead is, like, the least weird part of Catholicism.
Me: All of Catholicism is weird!
Lexi: 
Lexi: They did it in my car, which is why it’s smudged and weird.
Me: But why would they do it in the car at all
Lexi: Have I ever described relics and incorruptibles?
Me: Dear god no
Me: But that sounds awful
Lexi: Take whatever it is you’re imagining, and make it about 10x worse.
Me: why are you like this