Rage

Patron: That security guard wouldn’t let me out the FUCKIN door Me: there’s no need for hostili- Patron: because I don’t have the…

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Downstairs

Sometimes, the word itself contains the definition. This is called an autological word. Fun fact!

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Russian

If you’re gonna judge a book by its cover, at least read the cover.

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Help Yourself

Patron: Can I have one of these pamphlets? Me: Go crazy Patron walks up closer to me and reads the tiny text on…

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Say My Name.

Wait, did I already use this title? Sorry. I really like making Breaking Bad references.

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Spills

Okay but seriously, this happened about 2 hours before I was supposed to go on vacation.

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Washington, D.C.

I didn’t plan this, but I hope someone gets mad that I posted this on 9/11. #notevenalittlesorry

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Vocalist

I don’t always answer the phones, but when I do… it’s a shit show.

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