Jilly: That’s disgusting. Who puts jam on a bagel?
Me: I put jam on bagels
Jilly: Oh yeah, you do do that horrifying, weird thing.
Me: Jam is perfectly acceptable to have on bagels.
Jilly: Jam is for toast.
Me: And when you put a bagel in the toaster it becomes toast.
Jilly: No, it’s a toasted bagel.
Me: Which is a form of toast, you… anti-yeast… bigot!
Jilly: Nah
Jilly: Bagels and actual toast both have yeast so if we’re going to make a name for my bigotry we gotta use something else.
Me: Well, bagels and white bread are pretty much the same, chemically.
Me: WHICH PROVES MY POINT BY THE WAY. #BagelsAreToast
Me: So what do bagels have that a loaf does not?
Jilly: …
Jilly: Everything
Me: 😐
Jilly: Everything.
Me: 😐 😐 😐
Jilly: Get it because
Jilly: Everything bagels
Me: Get out