Me: I’m really looking forward to dinner tonight.
Mixed-Race Friend: Whatcha doing?
Me: I cooked a bunch of chicken last night, and I’m gonna eat it with a baked potato, and it’s gonna be delicious.
Mixed-Race Friend: …just a potato?
Me: Yeah, recently I’ve taken to making baked potatoes since people keep judging me for the way I make mashed potatoes.
Mixed-Race Friend: White people, man
Me: What? Who doesn’t eat potatoes? Everyone eats potatoes!
Mixed-Race Friend: Where is the seasoning? Where is the flavor? You people ruin food.
Me: YOU HAVE LESS MELANIN THAN ME I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT.
Mixed-Race Friend, who wears a hijab: YOU WOULDN’T SAY THAT IF YOU COULD SEE MY HAIR
Me: I DON’T HAVE TO LIST THE TAJIN AND GARLIC AND MORE GARLIC AND PROBABLY SUMMA THAT WEIRD BLEND I GOT FROM THE MYSTERY SPICE SHOP! THE PRIMARY INGREDIENT IS POTATO
Mixed-Race Friend: Oh. So you are putting in actual flavor.
Me: Of course!
Mixed-Race Friend: And butter?
Me: Like a half pound of it, duh.
Mixed-Race Friend: Well. You’re good then.
Me: …I’m sorry about the melanin comment.
Mixed-Race Friend: It’s okay.
Mixed-Race Friend: But I am, like… one shade darker than you.