Be Nice to the New Patron

Older, Out of Town Patron: …I tried calling in but nobody could answer my questions.

Me: What do you want to know?

Older, Out of Town Patron: Well, I just wanted to know if I was able to even get a card.

Me: Aw man, that’s some crap. Every single staff member should know off the top of their head that any Pennsylvania resident can get a card.

Older, Out of Town Patron, shrugging: Ah well. Now, I was wondering too if I could look up something in your archive department. Could you tell me where that is?

Me: That’s… kinda vague. Can you be a little more specific?

Older, Out of Town Patron: Well… [kinda long story- Patron is looking for records of a business their grandparents owned in the early 1900s]

Impatient Patron, to OOoTP: EXCUSE ME

Impatient Patron: ARE YOU AWARE THERE IS A LINE?

Me and OOoTP, looking around the room: There is?

Impatient Patron, to OOoTP: YES, AND YOU’RE BEING VERY RUDE

Me: They are?

Older, Out of Town Patron: So anyway, where would I go?

Me: You want Social Science and History. Up the stairs, first department you’ll see.

IP steps closer.

Older, Out of Town Patron: My knees aren’t what they used to be. Is there an elevator?

IP steps closer.

Me: Absolutely! If you go towards the back of the lobby you’ll see elevators with gold doors.

Older, Out of Town Patron: Thank you, you’ve been very helpful.

Impatient Patron: UGH

Impatient Patron: Boy oh oh boy I wanna say something.

Me: I think you just di-

Impatient Patron: I HOPE THEY’RE NOT FROM AROUND HERE

Me: They’re not, bu-

Impatient Patron: And now I’m wondering why YOU didn’t say something!

Me: Patrons have questions, I have answers.

Me, internally: Also you’re a jerk