Me: damn my beard looks good in the mirror. You did a good job on this trim
Jilly: aww thanks
Me: imma get so many bitches with it. I’ll cheat on you constantly
Jilly: … but that’s… not nice… and also we’re poly, so…
Me: that’s the joke.
Jilly: you could still cheat on me though
Me: wait how
Jilly: by being dishonest or manipulative or fail to disclose any other partne-
Me: I’ve been sleeping with your teddy bear THIS WHOLE TIME
Jilly: NOOOOOOooooo I don’t even have a teddy bear
Me: …then whose teddy bear was that?
Jilly: that’s between you and your god.