There is a Big Motherfucker in line behind me, and I’m not sure why. He has no animals with him and is holding an Aldi shopping bag.
Me, nodding: Sup.
Big Motherfucker, with a deep, booming voice: Sup.
Tiny Kitten: Hello!
Me: Holy shit.
Big Motherfucker: Cute, right?
Me: That thing is so tiny it’s barely even alive.
Big Motherfucker: I was walkin down the street last week and this little thing just starts following me. So I bend down to say hi, and now she won’t leave me alone.
Me: What a gift.
[Another photo]
Kitten: I would like to smell you, please and thank you.
Big Motherfucker: I don’t know how long I can keep her still, though. Wouldn’t want her running off.
Me: No cat carrier, huh?
Big Motherfucker: Nah, see, I only heard of this place yesterday. I didn’t really have time to prepare. Okay… back in the Aldi bag with you.
Volunteer: Hey sir, would you like a box for your kitten?
Big Motherfucker: Nah, I got it.
Volunteer, seeing him struggle with a tiny wiggly kitty: O…kay then.
Big Motherfucker: Dammit. Shoulda taken the box.
Jilly: I brought Dunkin Donuts, which is basically poison but it’ll keep you from HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT KITTEN
Tiny Kitty, escaping: Everything is so interesting!
Big Motherfucker: No! Come back!
Big Motherfucker: Dammit I skipped out on french toast for this
Big Motherfucker got Tiny Kitty back, then went home.