Patron: Where would biographies be?
Me: Biographies are split into two sections. Memoirs are down here in with the popular fiction, and then-
Patron: And then the literary biographies would be upstairs. Got it. How about I check out these novels with you now and then head up?
Me: Honestly, I’d recommend checking out last. That way you can-
Patron: Ahh, but I don’t actually know if I’ll take anything from there.
Patron: It’s an exciting and open-ended world, and you never know what’ll happen next.
Me: Fair enough
Patron: I’m a professional historian. People think that means I know what’ll happen next. I don’t know a damn thing about a damn thing.
Me: Really? Even given the historical parallels of the current political situati-
Patron: History teaches you that any goddamn thing can happen.
Me: That’s a real comfort.