I’m eating breakfast at a spot in Manhattan.
Restaurant Patron: so you like soccer?
Server, who is Hispanic: yes
Restaurant Patron: I don’t like soccer.
Server: okay
Restaurant Patron: see, we don’t have to like the same things.
Server: yup
Restaurant Patron: but
Me: oh god
Restaurant Patron: here in America, we play complicated games
Me: Jesus Christ
Restaurant Patron: we don’t just kick a ball and chase it around. We have rules!
Server: I still like soccer
Restaurant Patron: and another thing. When I was little, they tried to switch everything over to the metric system. Haha! BUT IT DIDNT WORK
Me: what in the name of all that is holy
Restaurant Patron: but me? I know both ways. Did you know a kilogram is 2.2 pounds?
Me: I’m giving the Server 30% today.