Me: So I saw this guy on facebook once, “Johnathan Catron” who lives in Georgia, and I was like, “Hey, are we cousins?” And it turns out, we are! Pretty… extremely far removed… like our last common ancestor is from the 1700s… but still cousins!
Dad: Yeah, it’s a pretty safe bet any Catrons you encounter in the wild are going to be relatives. It’s a pretty uncommon name.
Me: It makes me wonder what all there is to know about our relatives that’s just waiting to be discovered.
Dad: I wouldn’t look too hard into that if I were you.
Me: Of course. Sure. There are plenty of terribly racist assholes in the Catron family history, but it’s not like any of us ever had any real power or authority. We suck in a harmless way!
Supreme Court Justice John Catron, nominated by Andrew Jackson which pretty much tells you what you need to know: God, I just love owning people SO MUCH yo fuck this Dred Scott guy