Librarian: Matt! Did you figure out how to do the thing with the claims returned menu?
Me: Oh, yeah actually. C’mere.
Me: See, after a book’s been missing for a certain number of weeks, you can’t mark it as “Claims Returned” from this menu. You actually have to go to this other menu where it shows a more complete record. If you just go in here… voila! Now you can go back and mark it up correctly even if it’s from years ago.
Librarian: And this display here… that’s everything that a patron has not returned.
Me: Yes.
Librarian: WHEW
Librarian: For a second there, I thought that was a list of everything they’ve ever taken.
Me: Ooh, can’t have that. Patriot Act and all.
Librarian: Well, just basic respect for peoples’ privacy.
Me: Wait what? I thought libraries’ compulsion for privacy was a reaction to the Patriot Act.
Librarian: Oh no. No no no. We were always advocates for privacy, and the Patriot Act was… well, we were all really pissed off about it. It was as clumsy as it was immoral. They kept coming after us for information they knew we didn’t have.
Me: So in addition to being awful, it was incompetent.
Librarian: Yes.
Me: Why are oppressive policies never done well?
Librarian: Harder to track fault that way. They thrive on low accountability.
Me: Don’t forget to vote!