Coworker, to New Coworker: Hey hey hey there’s a coat hanger in the office over here! You don’t need to ball it up in your locker like that.
New Coworker: Aww, thanks!
Me: Hey! You never said that to me when I balled up my coat!
Coworker: Matt, you don’t care.
Me: That’s true.
You are! A very special soul! A gift to our city. Thank you for your public service!
You’re too kind!