Me: All this time being sick has really screwed with my sleep schedule and I need to go back to work. I know! I’ll put a mug of coffee next to my bed and I’ll drink it when my first alarm (of 7) goes off. I’m a genius!
Me at 3:30am: yawn
Me at 3:30am: I’m thirsty. Oh hey! There’s a mug right here. I don’t even have to get up! I’m a genius!
Me at 3:30am: glug glug glug
Me at 3:30am: wait
Me at 3:30am:
Me at 3:30am:
Me at 3:30am: shit.