Patron: Hello!
Me and Coworker at the same time: Hey
Patron: Who should I talk to?
Me: Either of us. Doesn’t matter.
Coworker: It does matter.
Me: It does?
Coworker: Yeah, because I’m better than you.
Patron: Ohhhhhhhh I’m not getting in the middle of this.
Me: No no, it’s okay. See, the best of the best don’t need to announce themselves.
Patron: Oh shit
Me: My quality speaks for itself.
Coworker: Yeah yeah yeah. I’ll set you straight.
Me: Do you see this one, Patron? They have not seen the light.
Coworker: I’ll fuck you up
Me: Resorting to violence to prove a point. That, Patron, is why I’m the best
Coworker: I’ll see you in the playground at recess, boy.