Patron: I signed up for a card online.
Me: Great, can I have your ID?
Patron: You need a driver’s license?
Me: If that’s what you have, sure.
Patron hands me a concealed carry permit.
Me: Oh shit
Me: here’s everything you could ever want and then also more
Me: I have candy too do you like candy
Me: I’m going to run away forever now, bye