Patron, handing me a credit card: I would like to return some books and pay the fine, please.
Me: This is a credit card.
Patron: Yes.
Patron: For the fine.
Me: Do you know what else I might need for that?
Patron: The names of the books.
Me: No
Patron: My name
Me: No
Patron: My driver’s license.
Me: No
Patron: … uhhh
Head of Department, from across the room: He wants your library card!
Patron: Oh, yeah. Here you go.
Me: Useful, but still no.
Patron: What?
Me: I need the actual books first.
Patron: That would make sense, wouldn’t it?