I’m at the front desk with none other than the world’s greatest Foltz when a Young Woman approaches to get a new library card.
Young Woman: …I’m actually 18, but my license hasn’t changed yet.
Me: Aw jeez I hope not! If the plastic can spontaneously morph all of a sudden I no longer know how technology works
Young Woman: Haha
Fucking Creep: Excuse me, did I hear you say you were 18?
Me: W H A T
Fucking Creep: So I work at this bar
Me: Uh, no. No no, no… no.
Fucking Creep: And I would hesitate to card you!
Me: No.
Young Woman: Aww thanks!
Me: Seriously?? No. No no no no NO.
Foltz: Sure explains why that guy smells like booze
Me: Hard pass. On all of this.
Fucking Creep: So this bar shall remain nameless
Me: SO IF YOU COULD JUST FILL OUT THIS APPLICATION HERE PLEASE AND THANK YOU AND MAKE SURE
Fucking Creep: something else creepy I don’t even remember
Me: MAKE SURE YOU FILL OUT EVERY BOX. NICE AND SLOW. YEAH THAT’S IT.
Fucking Creep: still being a fucking creep
Me: YEAH SO DREXEL HUH? THAT’S COOL
Foltz: YEAH I USED TO LIVE AROUND THERE
Fucking Creep: Actually still talking
Foltz: THAT ONE DORM LOOKS LIKE A PLAYSTATION ISN’T THAT COOL
Me: I NEVER NOTICED THAT BOY THAT SURE IS COOL
Coworker, to Fucking Creep: Okay you’re all done bye bye now
Fucking Creep: Still has some creepy-ass shit to say
Me: SO THIS IS YOUR LIBRARY CARD AND HERE’S A VEEEEERRRRRY LONG LIST OF THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH IT
Young Woman: Aww thanks guys
THE FUCKING CREEP FINALLY FUCKING LEAVES
Me: Man was that guy a creep or what?
Young Woman: What?
Me (internally): You poor, sweet, innocent soul. Untouched by this cruel cruel world
Me: Haha nevermind have a nice day!