DENVER.

MONDAY, JULY 23RD

Jeez. I’m not even sure what to say. Everything was going swimmingly, and I was afraid I’d be out of tall tales.

Takeoff from SAN was fine and dandy. Then about halfway through the very short flight I hear about thunderstorms at my transfer in Denver.

I’ll spare you about 6-7 hours worth of details. Tonight, I’m sleeping in the Denver airport. Well, I’m journaling in my imaginary blog in the Denver airport anyway.

Me: Christ this place is awful. The bathrooms are wet and sticky, there’s no place to lie down… why does every chair have a fake arm rest? Put in real benches!

Me: I’m hungry. This sandwich is really small for $10. The eggs are like styrafoam. How do you get eggs wrong?! This is the most acidic lemonade I’ve ever had.

Me: I don’t have my medicine. It’s all in my checked bag. I’m supposed to be back in Philly right now. No wonder everything hurts.

Airport staff, at like 1 AM: haha hi how ya doin?

Me, trying to be cheerful: well… I’m here. So not great.

Airport Staff: when do you leave?

Me: 6:25. And I got here around 7:30. I was supposed to leave here before 6pm tonight, but nobody, not even my friend who works for the airline, could get me out faster.

Airport Staff: Oof. That sucks. Anyway my shift’s over byyyyye

Me, looking around: people must get stranded here every day. It’s not exactly packed with people, but there’s nowhere that’s not occupied. Airport sleeping is a normal reality for travelers, and the airport made a conscious decision to install benches you can’t lie down on.

Me: our world is run by assholes.

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