DIBS

Me and Coworker at the same time: Hi! How’s it going?

Patron comes up to me at my desk.

Me: BAM

Me, pounding chest: YOU SEE THAT

Me: YOU SEE THAT, COWORKER

Coworker: Yeah yeah I saw it

Me: I called DIBS

Me: DIBS

Patron: He did call dibs. It’s important to be competitive when you guys are working for commission like you do.

Me: It’s true. The Free Library of Philadelphia generously gives me 10% of all revenue gained from checking out material to patrons.

Coworker: Matt would you shut the hell up

Me: And with the 6 items you’re taking out today? It adds up.

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