Friend: MATT
Friend: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU
Me: what what what what
Friend: I was on the edge of my seat
Friend: For a WEEK
Friend: Desperate to know what happened to Dot’s eye!
Me: Aww thanks!
Friend: Shut up, you don’t understand. I don’t like cats. I’m not a cat person. But poor Dot’s poor eye… I don’t want to hear about how big that motherfucker was, or you stepping in shit, I wanna hear about the eye!
Me: I guess I hooked a reader, huh?
Friend: I JUST NEEDED TO KNOW HE WAS OKAY