Patron: If I order a book from another branch, how long would it take to get here?
Me: Depends on the book, how many holds are on it, where it is, the staff at that branch, the time of day, the weather, and my own personal mood.
Patron: …soooooo… if it’s this book?
Me: That’s on the shelf at a neighborhood branch right now!
Patron: And how long would that take to get here?
Me: Don’t know! Could be a week? Or less? Or maybe more? A month? Tomorrow?
Patron: You’re not very good at this, are you?
Me: Me, personally? No way. I’m the worst.