Patron: Something’s wrong with my card.
Me: You’ve been expelled from the Free Library system. Like, 3 days ago so I know you know this.
Patron: Not at this library! Who do I talk to about this?
Me: Security.
Security Guard: Okay, time to go.
Patron: Fuck off! I didn’t do nothin!
Patron: Give me a print out!
Me: of what?
Patron: Of the thing you just read about me being expelled!
Me: Here.
Patron: This ain’t shit!
Security Guard: Patron, this is what we have. You’re expelled. Let’s go.
Patron: What is your fuckin problem? You quit looking at me like that and get some fuckin water!
Both of us: what
Patron: Yeah you get SOME FUCKIN WATER
After some more shouting, Security Guard escorts Patron out of my department. In the lobby, the shouting match continues.
Next Patron: I’m so sorry. That must be difficult to receive.
Me: Honestly? It’s part of the job. Most patrons, like you, you beautiful beast, are wonderful. Getting yelled at by a strangers is inevitable. Like, I don’t even know that person, and the worst insult they have for me is for me to get some water. If someone I knew yelled at me like that, I might actually care.
The shouting match eventually stops, and I pay good ol’ security guard a visit.
Me: So that Patron stuck around a while. How did you get them to leave?
Security Guard: Well, I got two things goin’ for me. I’m tall, dark, and handsome. Well, okay, that’s three things.
Me: Emphasis on handsome you gorgeous bastard
Security Guard: Stop it. Anyway, they wouldn’t leave, so I give ‘em a little of THIS
Security Guard, pantomiming a fight: AND A LITTLE THIS
Me: Shut the fuck up, no you didn’t
Security Guard: But I could’ve!
Me: So you let them yell at you until they eventually left?
Security Guard: Pretty much the same thing you did, yeah.
Me: I enjoy these talks we have.
Is it permanent when a patron (or ex-patron, heh) gets expelled?
It depends. When we get someone with serious behavioral issues, we might expel permanently. Patrons typically get expelled for a number of months. I think I saw a lifetime ban once, but that’s pretty rare. We want people to come, and hope that they can learn how to behave in public. A lot of our population falls on the autism spectrum and banning them from the library has a really harsh, devastating impact on their lives, so we have an onsite social worker to try to mitigate things before we go into banhammer mode.
Buuut when we see someone using the public computers for child porn (rare, but it has happened) we tend to use that banhammer pretty hard. It’s also worth noting that I don’t make any of those decisions- that’s about 4 pay grades up from me.
Thank you for the explanation!
You should know by now that I love to talk :p
And I am glad for it!
Wait…what does “get some water” mean in this context? Is that an insult?
I don’t know! My first thought was “aw, they care about my hydration”, and then I was like “wait but they’re yelling” and now I’m like… “YEAH. GET SOME FUCKIN WATER.”