I am immediately thrust into the managerial side of being a not-librarian at the Free Library of Philadelphia
Me: God dammit I only have 4 people below me why is scheduling such a pain?
New Coworker: Hey Matt, I need to take off one of my Saturdays next month.
Me: Jesus Christ… okay fine, email me the dates and I’ll rework the schedule.
New Coworker: What’s your email?
Me: c-a-t-r… get your phone out, you’ll never remember my last name.
New Coworker: Hah! I don’t think anyone here knows anyone’s last name.
Nosy Librarian: I know everyone’s last name!
Me: Really. What’s mine?
Nosy Librarian: Kuh-TRON
Me: Close!
Nosy Librarian: KAY-trun
Me: Now I’ll never tell you.
Me: What’s [Other Coworker]’s last name?
Nosy Librarian: Ruhz… Zurwuhwuh… Razzwhirr… there’s a W and an R in it!
Me: Nailed it.