Me, outside: Sniff
Me: Sniff, sniffle
Me: Sniff
Cait: Jesus, Matt. Get a tissue
Me, holding tissues: Won’t help.
Me: Sniff
Me: Sniff sniff
Cait: Dude quit sniffling
Me: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME
Me: IT’S MARCH IN PENNSYLVANIA
Me: I HAVE ALLERGIES
Me: Which is weird because I used to not have allergies at all
Cait: You better not get me sick.
Me: That’s not how allergies work.
Cait: Your eyes are all puffy and you look all loopy. You are sick.
Me: I’m not sick. I’m allergic to tree jizz.
Cait: You need to get some rest. Cuz you’re sick.
Me: I’m nOT SICK
Cait: You are very, definitely
Me: ACHOO
Cait, flinching: AAAAAA
Me: haha
Me: I faked that.
Cait: You’re a dick.