Gays

Me: Sometimes, when you look at me, you get all googly-eyed and it’s super cute.

Jilly, aggressively pressing her face up to my face: ENDURE MY GAZE.

Me: …huh.

Jilly: You’re supposed to be a little freaked out.

Me: Well, see, here’s the thing about that. At first I thought you were waxing poetic-

Jilly: A thing I am known to do.

Me: -And I thought you said “And you are my gaze.”

Jilly: That’s really sweet.

Me: And then I remembered that you know how very literal I am, and that I am not likely to immediately understand what you meant. So I came to the conclusion that you must have said something else.

Jilly: …okay…

Me: So then, after considering several possibilities, I decided what you meant to say was “And you are my gays”.

Jilly: Yes, that makes the most sense.

Me: And I was like, “What does that mean? Am I three gay men in a trenchcoat posing as a not-so-gay man?”

Jilly: That would explain your height.

Me: And then I was like “Oh! ‘Endure my gaze’. It’s a joke about you looking at me.”

Jilly: You are very perceptive.

Me: What are you typing into your phone there?

Jilly: Oh, nothing.