BEHIND THE SCENES
Me: Yo. These desks are gross as hell.
Coworker: Neatfreak Coworker takes disinfectant spray to them every day.
Me, spraying lots of isopropyl everywhere: I know, I know, but like, this grey is dead-skin-and-years-of-use grey. Not this-desk-is-grey… grey.
Coworker: Whoa. That rubbing alcohol is really doing the trick. I didn’t know these desks were ever this color!
Me: What do you suppose this is made of anyway?
Coworker: This? Definitely formica.
Me, googling: How… to… clean… formica…
Me, reading: Clean, nonabrasive cloth… mild soap… Avoid heavy solvents.
Me, holding spray bottle of isopropyl: Oh dear