Patron: Just so you know, I left a dollar in the last DVD I dropped off because it was overdue.
Me: Uhhh… why?
Patron: To pay off the fine.
Me: That… is not how that works.
Patron: Yes it is! I do it every time.
Me: Every time…?
Patron: Every time I have something late. You should ask the staff back there, they’ll know.
Me: I am the staff back there.
Patron: What?
Me: Everyone who sits at this front desk also takes shifts checking in library items, and in 4 years of doing that I have never seen or met a patron who did that.
Patron: Well, I do it.
Me: Hang on a sec.
Me, in the check-in office: Yo Coworker. Did a patron return an item with a dollar in it?
Coworker: Yeah! It was really weird. I gave it to Supervisor.
Me: Hey Supervisor. Do you have that dollar Coworker gave you?
Supervisor: Yeah
Me: Patron wants us to use it to pay their fines.
Supervisor: That’s weird.
Me: I know, right?
Me, returning to Patron: Found your dollar!
Patron: You mean you didn’t use it to pay my fine?
Me: No, and my entire department was wondering why there was a dollar in a DVD case.
Patron: But I’ve always done it this way!
Me: We don’t have a register in the check-in office. There’s no way to process the money.
Patron: Well maybe they came up here and-
Me: We can’t just take random money that we find and use it to pay off patrons’ fines.
Patron: Well. I guess I won’t be doing that anymore.
Me: Please don’t
I have no words.
Right?