Jilly and I are eating in Chinatown.
Jilly: What the hell is this song?
Me, not paying attention: What song?
Jilly: The kpop we’re currently listening to, you dork.
Me: Oh. Hey. That’s a really flashy music video there.
Jilly: I thought the whole point of kpop was that it was all super progressive, gender-bendery stuff.
Me: This video’s got a lot of big-ass titties and it’s not afraid to use ‘em.
Jilly: And these lyrics!
Me: It’s really deep. “Be my girlfriend. Be my girlfriend. Be my girlfriend. Be my girlfriend.”
Jilly: THAT’S DISGUSTING. THE MAN IN THIS SONG HAS A WALL OF PHOTOS OF HER FACE AND SHE LIKES IT. How have they fucked up kpop so bad??
Me: “Be my girlfriend. Be my girlfriend. Be my girlfriend.” This song really gets at the core of how relationships work. Production values are nice, too.
Jilly: It’s a multibillion dollar industry.
Me: There’s your answer. Western capitalists caught wind of potential profits, added some big ol’ titties and some American lyrics, and boom! Shitty knockoff that rakes in the money.
Jilly: I don’t want to live in this world anymore.
Me: Too bad cuz you know you’re gonna need a corporate sponsor to move to Mars.
Jilly: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
1 thought on “Kpop”