Person With Camera: Hi, I work for PhillyMag and I-
Me: ME
Me: PICK ME
Person With Camera: I’m hoping to get some photos of-
Me: ME
Me: TAKE PHOTOS OF ME ALL DAY EVERY DAY
Person With Camera: Okay but, like, sexier.
So I lift my leg up and put it on a book truck.
Person With Camera: Wow, you’re flexible
Me: Actually I’m so inflexible it’s causing me real medical probl-
Person With Camera: But you can’t actually pose. I was kidding. They have to be candid shots.
Me, posing: I CAN BE CANDID
Person With Camera: Listen pal
Person With Camera: Just do your thing. I got this.
Me: UGGH FINE
3 minutes later…
Me: Coworker, [BORING WORK TALK, YOU DEFINITELY DO NOT CARE]
Shutter click!
Me: Fuck, I wasn’t posing
Person With Camera: That was perfect! Thank you!
Me: Wait, do I get to see it?
Person With Camera: I’m off to the Barnes now. Bye everyone!
Me: Wait but I want it
Me: Hey
Me: HEY
Me: …
Me: Heeeeeyyyyyy