Me: Hi! How ya doin today?
Melodramatic Patron: …ashamed…
Me: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
Melodramatic Patron, sniffling: I’m… I’m late.
Me: sigh
Melodramatic Patron: I’m SO ASHAMED
Me: SIGH
Melodramatic Patron, sniffling again: I’ve ABUSED YOUR TRUST
Concerned Coworker: Uhhh is everything okay here?
Me: It’s fine, we’re rehearsing a play. Totally cool.
Melodramatic Patron: HOW COULD I
Me: You owe $.25 and all the shame that comes with it.