Young Patron: I need a new library card and I, uh… I heard you’re a man who can get me a Mewtwo.
Me, quietly: Maybe I am and maybe I’m not. Who told you that story?
Young Patron: [Coworker’s name].
Me: Well it just so happens Coworker knows what they’re talking about.
Young Patron: So can I have a Mewtwo?
Me: Oh, I might be willing to trade. It’ll cost you though.
Young Patron: How much?
Me: One million stardust.
Young Patron: ONE MILLION?!
Me: keep it down kid, I don’t need the public to know that I’m dealing, okay?