Patron with infant in strapped to chest: Aaaaggggh I forgot my library card.
Me: Driver’s license? Work ID? Recent mail?
Patron: Dammit no.
Patron: WAIT! I have my child’s library card.
Me: Mmm, I don’t know…
Infant, no more than a year old: goob
Me, holding up a book to Infant: Can you read this?
Infant: ???
Patron: Can I…? Yes? That’s… why I’m… here???
Me: I was talking to the kid. No, you can’t take out this material on the child’s card.
Patron: Oh. Haha. Well I’ll have to come by later then.
Next Patron: I feel really bad about that person raising the next generation.
Me: Because they couldn’t tell I was joking?
Next Patron: HOW DO YOU RAISE A KID WITHOUT KNOWING HOW TO JOKE
Coworker: I wasn’t gonna say anything… but yeah. You held that book right in front of the baby’s eyes. How did they miss the joke?
Me: My genius is underappreciated
Literally Everyone: Shut the fuck up