Mondays

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but I love Mondays. Mondays are usually my best day of the week because I don’t have to be at the library until 1:00 in the afternoon. I usually wind up sleeping in until 11-11:30, and I always feel like I’m starting the week nice and fresh- as all weeks should be.

The downside of Mondays is that I’m at the library until 9:00 in the evening, and that means I wind up staying up super late and having shitty, awful Tuesdays every week.

But that’s a Tuesday problem! Today is Monday, and nothing can go wrong on a Mond-

6:15 AM

Me, sleeping: ZZZZzzzzzzz

Police Sirens: BEING REALLY GODDAMN LOUD

Me: What the hell

Police car loudspeaker: ATTENTION ALL RESIDENTS. PLEASE MOVE YOUR VEHICLE BY 10:00 AM TODAY

Me: Oh yeah, y’all put up signs for road work, like, 2 days ago. But I don’t own a car so fuck off

Police car loudspeaker: IF YOU DO NOT MOVE YOUR CAR, YOU WILL BE TOWED

Me: Good, fuck ’em. Now leave me alone.

6:30 AM

Police Sirens: BEING REALLY GODDAMN LOUD

Me: No

Police car loudspeaker: ATTENTION ALL RESIDENTS. PLEASE MOVE YOUR VEHICLE BY 10:00 AM TODAY

Me: Stop

Police car loudspeaker: IF YOU DO NOT MOVE YOUR CAR, YOU WILL BE TOWED

Me: Please, stop

6:45 AM

Me, back asleep: ZZZZZzzzzz

Police Sirens: Hey Matt, we came back to fuck with you specifically

Me: God damn you

Police car loudspeaker: See you at 7!

Me: Nooooooooo

Anyway I feel great today why do you ask