Jilly: What?
Jilly: What is this?
Jilly: Matt, why are you texting me at 3 am?
Me, asleep:
Jilly: MATT
The Next Day
Me: What
Jilly: WHAT DID YOU DO
Me: What
Jilly: JUSTIFY THIS!
Jilly shows me her phone.
Me: Oh yeah
Me: I kinda remember that
Jilly: TELL ME
Jilly: TELL ME WHAT THIS MEANS
Me: Right, so
Me: There’s like, 4 open jars of salsa in my fridge. I don’t really eat salsa enough to finish them before they go off, so…
Me: Eat salsa.
Jilly: And you absolutely had to tell me this at 2:23 in the morning.
Me: apparently
Jilly: I hate you.