Not a Card

When we issue library materials, we always give paper receipts. The receipts double as a security measure and a polite reminder of the due dates of the materials. Patrons often use them as bookmarks, which, y’know, makes sense.

Patron: I’d like to renew this book.

Me: Do you have your library card?

Patron hands me a piece of paper that has a picture of a library card on it.

Me: What is this?

Patron: This is everything they gave me!

Me: Who is “they”?

Patron: Someone sitting here.

Me: Someone at this desk gave you this specific card-shaped piece of paper with no barcode.

Patron: Yes!

Me: They definitely did not do that. We sometimes will give an 8.5×11 sheet of paper with this image and more information, but we wouldn’t cut it out here. Can I see your ID please?

Patron: Do you need the receipt?

Me: Nah, save your bookmark. Just need your license or passport or whatever you got.

Patron hands me their license and I look them up in the system.

Patron: And I have the receipt!

Me: I don’t need it, thank you

I’m already done with the renewal when Patron hands me the receipt.

Patron: But I have this already!

Me: And now you have a new one with the new due date.

Patron: Oh.

Patron: Shit

Patron: I lost my place in the book.

Me: I told you!

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