Patron, at 4:50pm: …and that’s not a king. There is no king. That’s a musketeer. And there’s three of ‘em!
Me: God dammit I’m so close to going home.
Patron: Oh hey there blue eyes. Ooh, you’re so handsome.
Me: Hel-
Patron: You play ball? You like to fist fight?
Me: No-
Patron: That’s okay, I don’t like ball players anyway.
Me: Coo-
Patron: So hey can I renew this?
Me: It was due a month ago. You have some fines to pay before I can renew it.
Patron: But I never took that out.
Me: You just showed me the receipt.
Patron: Yeah but I never took that item out. I remember looking at it and… anyway here’s the fine.
Me: That was easier than I expected, thank you. Do you want a new receipt for the new due dates?
Patron: Yeah
Me, throwing the old receipt away and handing them a new one: Here you go.
Patron: Yeah! Throw that away! Practice that ball skill. Longhairs like you need that. You need it. Play ball!
Me: It is 4:52 PM please let me leave