Patron, to Child: And do you see back there in that office? That’s where I used to work years and years ago, before this guy was even born
Me: uhhh… hi
Patron: Does [Name] still work here?
Me: I don’t know who tha-
Patron: How about [Name]?
Me: I would assume not, since
Patron: [Name] works over at another branch…
Me: When did you work here?
Patron, saluting: 1985, 5th stacks!
Patron: …
Patron: You guys still have 5th stacks, right?
Me: No, actually. The old bookstacks aren’t in this building anymore. They’re in a warehouse miles from here.
Patron: You gotta be kidding me! What about the periodicals?
Me: We have, like… some? We get the New York Times and some others every day but I don’t-
Patron: Back in the day you could request a copy of the New Yorker from the 1800s and we’d get it for you!
Me: Is the New Yorker even that ol-
Patron: Do you even have the dumbwaiters anymore?
Me: Some of them we took out but we still use-
Patron: And this room is so different
Me: Yeah we renovated in 201-
Patron: Wow, they even moved the circulation desk
Me: Listen pal I know you’re excited but I can only rattle off so many facts at a time