Matt's Tall Tales

The Wall

The fuckin wall.

Posted On 9 Jan9 Jan

Due Date

Calendars are hard.

Posted On 8 Jan7 Jan

Gambler

I hate my dad.

Posted On 8 Jan8 Jan

Insecure

Patrons can be weird.

Posted On 7 Jan7 Jan

Kamehameha

Explosions! Big hair! Filler episodes!

Posted On 7 Jan7 Jan

Allergies

Allergies!

Posted On 6 Jan28 Dec

The Package

Brace yourself

Posted On 6 Jan5 Jan

Leave

Patron’s gotta go.

Posted On 5 Jan

National Conversation

It turns out I observe more than just the people in my immediate vicinity.

Posted On 5 Jan4 Jan

Clutch

I’m out of touch.

Posted On 4 Jan3 Jan

Iron Man 2

Nobody liked it!

Posted On 4 Jan3 Jan

The Emoji Movie

The cash grab movie

Posted On 3 Jan

Coffee

Scheduling!

Posted On 3 Jan3 Jan

Clean

Raw honesty

Posted On 2 Jan2 Jan

Back From The Dead

WELCOME BACK MATT HERE’S SOME FRUSTRATING NONSENSE

Posted On 2 Jan2 Jan

The Old Ways

Why, back in my day…

Posted On 1 Jan1 Jan

Blanket

MORE PUNS

Posted On 1 Jan

The Pill

The final today at the library of 2019: MYSTERY PILLS

Posted On 31 Dec

Big Cat Pharma

It’s a Thing!

Posted On 31 Dec

$2 Bill

Currency!

Posted On 30 Dec30 Dec

Bean Stall Tales

Potty time.

Posted On 30 Dec

Terrible Service

It would seem I’m bad at my job.

Posted On 29 Dec

Jilly Spills Her Beans

Me: Uggggggh Me: I haven’t been to work since Christmas. I think it’s the flu. AND I haven’t written any new Tall Tales…

Posted On 29 Dec29 Dec

Barre

Patron: I just got back from a very difficult barre class, and I feel exhausted. Me: Oooh. Are you able to represent me…

Posted On 28 Dec29 Dec

Mashed Potatoes

When I posted this one to facebook the comments section exploded. People have strong opinions on potatoes.

Posted On 28 Dec28 Dec

I’m Good

Little lies.

Posted On 27 Dec27 Dec

Scratch

‘Tis but a scratch

Posted On 27 Dec27 Dec

Tobey Maguire

Whoops

Posted On 26 Dec

Solvent

I’m really good at being alive.

Posted On 26 Dec

Good Christian

Gifts!

Posted On 25 Dec25 Dec

Christmas Shopping

First world problems!

Posted On 25 Dec25 Dec

Shaving the Beard

I did not and I will not.

Posted On 24 Dec24 Dec

Movie Talker

It’s true. I am one.

Posted On 24 Dec24 Dec

Biographies

Come learn history with me!

Posted On 23 Dec23 Dec

Fashion

Stranger A, to Stranger B: Oh! I love your necklace. Stranger A: AH! And it matches your bracelet! Stranger B: Earrings, too! Both…

Posted On 23 Dec23 Dec

I forget.

Posted On 22 Dec22 Dec

Accent

Accents are weird.

Posted On 22 Dec22 Dec

Dark Web

Seeking knowledge is good and all, but maybe you should define terms first?

Posted On 21 Dec21 Dec

Birthday Month

Context!

Posted On 21 Dec21 Dec

Mewtwo

Second Pokemon reference today. I think I have a problem.

Posted On 20 Dec20 Dec

Rocky Statue

Hustle hustle

Posted On 20 Dec20 Dec

DIBS

I called dibs and every single one of you saw it.

Posted On 19 Dec19 Dec

Gays

I got a weird new name?

Posted On 19 Dec19 Dec

Letitz, PA

Pennsylvania, for all its flaws, has the best town names.

Posted On 18 Dec17 Dec

Aging Well

I make an unsolicited comment!

Posted On 18 Dec17 Dec

Aftermath

After yesterday’s Fucking Creep, I take some notes.

Posted On 17 Dec19 Dec

Tea Party

I’m wild.

Posted On 17 Dec17 Dec

Creep

This story needs a fedora.

Posted On 16 Dec2 May

Sully

Jilly and I watched Sully. Me: Wow. What a soulless cash grab. Jilly: This movie was devoid of artistic integrity. Me: It’s like…

Posted On 16 Dec15 Dec

Old Wallet

It’s like old yeller but not as sad.

Posted On 15 Dec14 Dec