Matt's Tall Tales

Can’t complain

Yes you can.

Posted On 26 Oct26 Oct

Wild Bill’s

I found soda!

Posted On 26 Oct26 Oct

Nonfiction

Nonfiction is not fiction.

Posted On 25 Oct25 Oct

Croft

She was really, really, ridiculously good-looking and not afraid to act on it.

Posted On 25 Oct25 Oct

Swearing

It’s not that funny.

Posted On 24 Oct24 Oct

Sexy Nerds

I went to a party!

Posted On 24 Oct28 Apr

The Soda

I’m not above making a fart joke, and you’re not above enjoying it.

Posted On 23 Oct23 Oct

Adam McGovern

I met up with my friend Adam McGovern and, as usual, he had a lot to say.

Posted On 23 Oct28 Apr

Weather

Can’t talking about the weather just be normal?

Posted On 22 Oct22 Oct

Hiring

Some people like the way I describe my job.

Posted On 22 Oct22 Oct

Crazy Man

I’m not THAT bad…

Posted On 21 Oct18 Oct

Cookie

I had a cookie.

Posted On 21 Oct

Betrayal

At times, this job can be a bit dramatic.

Posted On 20 Oct18 Oct

Back In My Day

Conventions used to be different.

Posted On 20 Oct16 Oct

Medicare

It’s funny because all the social safety nets are vanishing

Posted On 19 Oct18 Oct

Jesus

People tell me I look like Jesus a lot. During NYCC it happened every-goddamn-minute.

Posted On 19 Oct16 Oct

Obvious

This made no sense.

Posted On 18 Oct18 Oct

Five Dollars

Do no harm. Take no shit.

Posted On 18 Oct16 Oct

Blood of Saxon Men

I have located a relic of the ancient past: A copy of 1979’s Captain America. Me: hahahaha hey Coworker get a load of…

Posted On 17 Oct17 Oct

Gummies

Oh look. In my blog about Comic Con I finally go back to writing about Comic Con. Kinda.

Posted On 17 Oct16 Oct

The Creep

I don’t like it when people creep on me.

Posted On 16 Oct16 Oct

Breakfast

Everyone’s a dick.

Posted On 16 Oct16 Oct

Sexy Act

It didn’t work.

Posted On 15 Oct15 Oct

Hurry Up And Take Your Clothes Off

I love this shirt and I wear it often.

Posted On 15 Oct15 Oct

Croobarg

Look I don’t know what it is either

Posted On 14 Oct14 Oct

THE END (The Risotto Chronicles, Part V)

Is it over???

Posted On 14 Oct15 Oct

Lisa

You are tearing me apart.

Posted On 13 Oct13 Oct

Hulk (The Risotto Chronicles, Part IV)

This is still going on?

Posted On 13 Oct15 Oct

Excuses

Which one would you like to hear?

Posted On 12 Oct9 Oct

Risotto (The Risotto Chronicles, Part III)

We found Risotto.

Posted On 12 Oct15 Oct

Library Jesus

Have I seriously not used this title yet??

Posted On 11 Oct9 Oct

The Sticker (The Risotto Chronicles Part II)

One of us is focused on the mission.

Posted On 11 Oct15 Oct

Snaxxx (again)

I like to eat.

Posted On 10 Oct9 Oct

Sbarro (The Risotto Chronicles, Part I)

Kirill REALLY wanted Risotto.

Posted On 10 Oct15 Oct

Old Timer

I know it seems like I’ve been here forever, but I’m still relatively new.

Posted On 9 Oct9 Oct

NYCC Arrival

This time I went somewhere without the transit being a story.

Posted On 9 Oct9 Oct

Fight!

I threatened to physically harm a patron. It was hilarious!

Posted On 8 Oct3 Oct

Neighbor

Hurry up and take your clothes off.

Posted On 8 Oct3 Oct

Receipt

There’s a method to all this, I swear.

Posted On 7 Oct3 Oct

The American

I think this is going to be my new default blog post image. Oh! Also, I’m an idiot.

Posted On 7 Oct3 Oct

Community Service

Everyone’s gotta do it.

Posted On 6 Oct3 Oct

The Gig

Hustle hustle hustle

Posted On 6 Oct3 Oct

Address

IT WAS A SIMPLE QUESTION

Posted On 5 Oct3 Oct

Behind The Scenes

The best minds have help.

Posted On 5 Oct3 Oct

Philadelphia Parking Authority

If you live in Philly you already know how this is gonna be.

Posted On 4 Oct3 Oct

Minebrary

Once upon a time, I built a scale replica of the Central library in Minecraft.

Posted On 4 Oct3 Oct

Daze

I’m especially good at word play when I don’t want to be.

Posted On 3 Oct3 Oct

The Hot Pocket

Trouble in paradise.

Posted On 3 Oct3 Oct

Boob Wallet

You think you know where this is going, but you do not.

Posted On 2 Oct3 Oct

Iron

So it turns out my body sucks, but what else is new?

Posted On 2 Oct13 Apr