This is nothing like the Weird Al song, but I won’t say no to any hits generated from shameless name-theft.

Some days I don’t know why I bother.

Why can’t I just go from point A to point B?

Ahh, father-son bonding.

I’m a Con expert by now.

I’m not writing down everything you say.

I swear.

The what now?

Artists gonna art, yo

Nobody wants to live in Vegas.

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON

A healthy diet is paramount.

YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN

Truly there’s nothing like it.

People are the worst.

I’m BRINGIN IT BACK

MAKE IT TREND

My memory sucks.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TWICE IN ONE HOUR

You’re not in the way. Promise.

…and they can get pretty aggro about it.

It’s not weird, I promise.

Fancy!

Tuna melt.

Haha get it?