Patron: hullodoyouworkhere
Me, hearing nothing: 🎶popular song lyrics🎶
Patron: HELLO DO YOU WORK HERE
Me: Yes, yes I do
Patron: I want to go to the bathroom.
Me: Wonderful
Patron: I don’t want to bring my coat.
Me: I can’t be held responsible for your personal belongings. If you want to guarantee that you don’t lose your coat, you have to bring it with you.
Patron leaves without another word.
2 minutes later…
Patron: Hi I’m going to the bathroom.
Me: Cool
Patron: I left books on that table back there. I want them there when I come back.
Me: Again, I can’t be held responsible for your personal belongings. If they’re library books, we have staff that regularly comes and cleans up.
Patron leaves without another word.
Once Patron turns a corner, I run around the whole department and pick up every book I can find. I find a pile in the teen section.
Probably Pre-Teen Patron: Excuse me, hi hello, someone is reading those
Me: 😑
Me: Was it the one with the coat?
Probably Pre-Teen Patron: Yeah
Me: 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
Me: It’s okay. I know them. Don’t worry about it. It’ll be fine.
Me: 🤬😠🤬😒😒🤬🤬
Me: Yo. Teen Librarian.
Librarian: Sup
Me: <Whole story thus far>
Librarian: Yo.
Me: Yo.
Librarian: That’s really inappropriate. I’m gonna have a talk with this patron.
Me: AND I AM GOING TO HIDE THESE BOOKS
Librarian: You petty little shit.
Librarian: I like it.