I’m out and about in the city with a friend.
Friend: Hey Matt, you want a ride home? I’m going that way anyway.
Me: Sure.
And so we drove, talking for a bit until their phone rang. Friend has one of those bluetooth cars where the call comes through the speakers.
Friend: This is my kid, I gotta take this. Hi!
Kid: Hiiiiii
Friend: What’s going on? How’s everything over at college?
Kid: UGH
Kid: So me and my friends, right? They wanted to bring me to this party. And, like, this is the first college party where I was… y’know, legal. And it’s just…
Kid: Everyone was drinking SO MUCH. It was completely insane and completely just… awful.
Friend: Oh, I know it.
Kid: It’s just… drinking culture in America is just so terrible. Alcohol is just so poisonous, and we chug it for sport!
Friend: I feel like… didn’t the WHO* come out with a study last year saying that no amount of alcohol is safe to consume?
Kid: Exactly! “None” is the safe amount of alcohol to drink.
Friend: Tell you what: You’re studying neuroscience. Just print out a fake waiver-lookin thing telling them you can study their brains after they’ve burned them out. Maybe that’ll scare ’em into shape.
Kid: HAH
Around this time, we pulled up to my house and I got out. Friend’s got a smart kid. Gives me hope for the future!
*I googled it later, and didn’t find a report of this from the WHO. I did find an NPR article citing a study from the Lancet saying that in August of 2018, though.