Me: Hey, how’s it going Regular Patron?
Regular Patron, smiling: OH YOU KNOW
Regular Patron, still smiling: JUST BEING MAD ABOUT EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME
Me: Haha I know that feeling. You know what though? I’m gonna make it worse for you.
Regular Patron, no longer smiling: How?
Me: Ruth Bader Ginsburg fell last night*. She’s in the hospital with 3 broken ribs.
Patron balls their fist and pounds my desk. I wave to my coworkers to let them know Patron isn’t actually being aggressive.**
Regular Patron: GOD DAMMIT
*This conversation (obviously) happened yesterday, 11/08/2018. According to her nephew, she’s doing much better now!
**My library takes security really, really seriously.