Jilly and I are visiting the boardwalk in North Wildwood, NJ. Here’s what happened.
Jilly: They’re trying to start the rollercoaster.
Me: Uhhhh… Hang on…
Jilly: What’s wrong?
Me: I, uh…
Me: I’m having trouble fitting.
Jilly: HAH
Me: I HAVE SOLID BIRTHING HIPS, LEAVE ME ALONE
After some effort, I was able to wiggle myself into the tiny seats on this old, rickety wooden roller coaster. The ride starts, and the passengers in the cars get knocked around… because it’s an old, rickety wooden roller coaster.
Jilly: Ow. I think that ride gave me bruises.
Me: I WAS FIRMLY SECURE IN MY SEAT
Me: THICK THIGHS SAVE LIVES