St. Patrick’s Day

Very drunk idiot: excuse me

Me: I can smell you.

Very drunk idiot: if me and my friend are trying to go up is this the train?

Me: …

Very drunk idiot: hahahahaha we’re going to Levittown

Me: this is the subway. If you’re leaving Philadelphia you want regional rail.

Very drunk idiot: yeah we want that

Very drunk idiot: is this that?

Me: no this is the subway. You want regional rail. Go up the stairs and into the big train station

Very drunk idiot: but this is the regional rail.

Me: no it’s not. Go up. Physically up. We are underground. The regional rail is not

Meanwhile, the train I was waiting for comes and leaves while I try to talk to this loser.

Me: god dammit

Very drunk idiot: shit

Very drunk idiot: that was our train

Me: I’m going now

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