I am an American. I’m loud, bombastic, and much closer to fitting the international stereotype than I’m generally comfortable admitting. I’m really comfortable being the center of attention, particularly in groups of 10 or less.
Inversely, I’m really uncomfortable not being the center of attention in those small groups. So when I was in France a while back, hanging out with a bunch of non-English-speaking French people, I was out of my element.
I’m with my buddy Pierre at one of his friend’s houses. There are 7 or 8 people in the room all speaking French and I have no idea what the hell is going on. But, being a brilliant comedian, I understand that the most important part of being funny is timing. So I wait for just the right break in the conversation, and I say, “Oui!” with great enthusiasm.
It works! The whole room erupts with laughter. Matt’s a genius. Life is good, and I’m swimming in a pool filled with validation. Hurray.
So, sure, everyone likes me, but this isn’t James Cameron’s Avatar. They can’t suddenly speak English just because the plot demands it. The conversation resumes and, as I am wont to do, I pull out the greatest hits album and expect the same applause.
“Oui!”
And everyone glares at me. Pierre, the kind and loving soul he is, puts a hand on my shoulder and tells me, “Uhh, Matt… we’re talking about how my friend here just lost their job and is trying to figure out how they’re going to support their children with no savings.”
So anyway how was your day