Patron and infant: Okay so, here’s the baby’s library card.
Me, still making googley eyes: Cool thanks. There are no holds on this card.
Coworker: What’s the last name?
Patron: Jenkins*
Me: Can I see your card? … Wait, I thought you said the name was Jenkins?
Patron: Oh, it’s hyphenated. Jones-Jenkins*.
Me: Well. There are no holds for this card, either.
Patron: I wonder if it’s under my other child’s card.
Me: What’s their name?
Patron: [Firstname] Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff.
Me, internally: Are you fucking serious
Patron: I’m a modern parent.
Me: what does that EVEN MEAN
*I changed all the names, obviously