Me: Okay, so your older child has the hold. And guess what!
Patron: It’s under that name?
Me: Well, yes, but I was gonna say it’s down in Children’s.
Patron: uuUUUUGH
Me: So, you have a lot of names.
Patron: Yeah so my name was always hyphenated because of my parents.
Me: Jones-Jenkins*
Patron: Right. Then I married into Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff.
Me, internally: Jesus tap-dancing Christ
Patron: But that won’t fit on my license.
Me: or anything, ever
Patron: But then my children have different last names because we wanted to simplify
Me, rolling my eyes: Simplify, huh?
Patron: because three last names was too much, and we realized with baby #2 that we could make it easier, except by doing that we made things harder for baby #1. So now we’re constantly running into issues with the school district
Me: It probably wouldn’t be so bad if one of the names wasn’t Smitty Werben Man Jensen**
Patron: haha, yeah. We’re a modern family. Equality!
Me, internally: THAT IS NOT EASY FOR ANYBODY
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent
**Before you ask, It’s a spongebob joke